9 Warning Signs Everyone Should Know
- upshiftwithchad
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988. Someone is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you call and it takes a few minutes, stay on the line. Love yourself enough to wait. |
Warning signs are often visible in hindsight. Someone says something that gets brushed off as a joke. Someone starts pulling away and nobody asks why. Someone's behavior shifts and the people around them figure it's just a phase.
The hard truth is that most people in crisis do show signs. The problem isn't that those signs are invisible, it's that most of us were never taught what to look for, or what to say when we see it.
That's what this is about. Not blame. Not guilt. Just the knowledge that could help you show up for someone before it's too late.
Why We Miss the Signs
We miss them because we're not taught to look. We miss them because we're afraid of being wrong, or overstepping, or making it awkward. We miss them because we assume the person is probably fine.
Here's what the research tells us: for every one person who dies by suicide, there are approximately 11 emergency room self-harm incidents, 52 attempts, and 336 people who seriously considered it. That's a lot of people struggling in silence, often right next to us.
49,400+ suicides annually in the U.S. (ages 12+) | ~22 veterans lost to suicide every single day | 90% of those who die by suicide had an underlying mental health condition |
These numbers are not abstract. They represent people, coworkers, classmates, neighbors, friends. And behind nearly every one is a moment where someone noticed something but wasn't sure what to do.
Let's change that.
The 9 Warning Signs to Know
For every sign below, there are two questions you should be asking, either of yourself or the person you're worried about. Keep them in your back pocket.
THE TWO QUESTIONS THAT OPEN THE DOOR
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1 Talking about suicide Comments like "I'll just kill myself" or "Nobody would miss me" can sound like dark humor or venting but they shouldn't be dismissed. If someone says it, even casually or repeatedly, take it seriously. Ask the two questions. |
2 Withdrawing from friends and family Someone who's struggling may start pulling away not out of anger, but to prepare the people around them for life without them. If someone you care about goes quiet, reach out. Don't wait for them to come to you. |
3 Obtaining means If someone is actively seeking access to methods of ending their life, that's an urgent sign. This is the moment to call 988 or 911, not to text and check in later. |
4 Severe mood swings and personality changes People in this kind of pain aren't just sad. There's a war happening inside, between wanting the pain to stop and still wanting to be here. That internal conflict shows up as unpredictable moods and sharp shifts in behavior. |
5 Self-harm or self-injury Physical self-harm is often a way of letting pain out when there are no words for it. It doesn't resolve anything, it only adds physical scars alongside the emotional ones. If you see this, ask the questions. Don't ignore it. |
6 Risky or self-destructive behavior Sometimes people stop caring about consequences because they're not planning on being around for them. Reckless driving, dangerous situations, sudden disregard for personal safety, these aren't just bad decisions. They're signs worth asking about. |
7 Increased use of drugs or alcohol Substances are often an attempt to numb pain that has nowhere else to go. They don't fix anything, they just pile new problems on top of the original ones. Watch for sudden or escalating changes in someone's drinking or drug use. |
8 Changes in routine Someone who's always on time starts missing work. The person who used to eat lunch with the team starts eating alone. Small changes in pattern matter. If something feels off, say something. |
9 Giving away things of value When someone begins giving away meaningful possessions, it can be one of the final warning stages. Law enforcement and crisis professionals consistently identify this as a sign that requires immediate action. If you see it, act quickly. |
What Gets in the Way of Saying Something
Most people don't stay quiet because they don't care. They stay quiet because they're scared.
Scared of saying the wrong thing. Scared of overstepping. Scared that if they ask directly "Are you thinking about ending your life?" they'll plant the idea.
Here's what you need to hear: asking does not plant the idea. Research on suicide prevention is consistent on this. Asking directly lifts a burden. It tells the person: I see you. You're not carrying this alone.
"It takes a much stronger person to not care what anyone else thinks and raise their hand to say, 'I'm hurting. I need help.' That's not weakness. That's strength."
You don't have to fix it. You're not expected to have the answers. Your job is to be a bridge, to listen, to ask, and to help them get connected to someone who can help. That might be 988. It might be their family doctor. It might be calling 911 because the situation is urgent. But none of that starts until someone is willing to ask.
If Someone Reaches Out to You
Getting help doesn't always work on the first try. Someone might see a therapist who isn't the right fit, or go through a crisis program and still feel unheard. That doesn't mean they're beyond help, it means they haven't found the right person yet.
Encourage them to keep going. Therapy is like any relationship: you don't stop after one bad fit. You keep looking until you find the right one. Because they're worth it.
And if someone reaches out to you at two in the morning, stop and listen. Don't minimize it. Don't tell them what you think they want to hear. You might be the last strand in the rope they're holding.
WHEN SOMEONE REACHES OUT, SAY THESE:
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Those aren't just phrases. They signal that you're not going anywhere. That they're not alone in this fight. And sometimes, that's exactly what keeps someone here.
Bring This Training to Your Team or SchoolChad delivers this presentation live for schools, corporate teams, HR departments, and community organizations. If the people around you need to learn how to recognize these signs and have these conversations, let's connect. |
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