My earliest memory of my mom is her catching me trying to sneak cookie
dough from the refrigerator. Another is her taking me into the bathroom
when she had to pee and making me turn my back to her. I think this was
because she didn’t trust me to be alone while she had the door closed. Lol.
I remember her always burning candles, which is probably why I’ve always
loved fire. I remember dropping peanuts into the wax hoping they'd catch
on fire… they never did. I can’t tell you if any of my other memories are real or if they are simply stories I’ve been told so often that my brain finally created them as my own.
I was four when my mom passed away. I was told that she passed away
while I was still in the hospital and can’t tell you if I really understood what
that even meant at that time. Mom never coming back never really sank in
until I was out of the hospital and the visitors that kept me busy went back
to living their own lives. This was when it hit me. That amazing feeling of
unconditional love. The feeling that felt like a security blanket, all warm and
comforting, helping you to know that no matter what happened, everything
was going to be ok… was gone. Forever. That was the part that I couldn’t
understand. No amount of crying was ever going to bring her back. When I
came home from the hospital, my older brother (by 2 years) would climb in
bed with me as I was crying and would sing songs that mom used to sing to
me. The one that stands out in my mind is Puff the Magic Dragon. Life was
very strange in those first few years after she passed. Everything felt
wrong.
Growing up, I had several close friends who had amazing mothers. I would
go to their houses and never want to leave. I always gravitated to their
moms (Wow that sounds like I’m a weirdo) because I loved the way it felt to
have them around me. That amazing feeling that you felt just being in the
presence of a mom. I yearned for that feeling. They have no idea how
much of an impact that they had on my life by just being themselves and
allowing me to experience that feeling. To those ladies, and I’m certain that
you know who you are, thank you.
Fast forward a few years, now I’m married to an amazing woman and an
even more amazing mother. I’ve watched her make tons of sacrifices so
that her children didn’t have to. Never having the newest anything, so our
children did. Always making sure that her children had their wants before
she would ever consider her own needs. She is a mom, and she has
shown me countless times just how blessed our children are to have her.
A lot of years have passed since those times, and we are blessed to be
grandparents to an amazing three-year-old grandson. Now I am in a
position in life where I can be there to see my daughter be the amazing
mother that she is. Loving him unconditionally, protecting him, helping him
learn, grow, and experience all the wonderful “firsts” that a child
experiences. She’s a mom and that is one of the greatest things anyone
could ever be.
To all the amazing moms out there, you’re doing great, you’re making a
difference, and thank you for all that you do. Your efforts matter and so do
you. Happy Mother’s Day!
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